I have a life mentor. He is not a writing mentor, but he can still dispense great wisdom in many areas. I used to mentor students in middle school. When I would show up to eat lunch with my mentee, his friends would ask, "why do you need a mentor?" Maturity didn't allow for him to have a good answer. He just knew I was a good friend who invested my time into his life. My answer would be, "we all need a mentor."
In a previous blog Wisdom vs Good Advice, I mentioned the word mentor. I needed to follow that up with the significance. I've spent 20 years working with parents and kids. My strongest advice for parents was to find a third voice in their kids' life (assuming there were two parents). Find a mentor who can speak life and wisdom to your children. Kids are heavily influenced by outside forces. Connecting them with a positive person who shares your values is a great way to influence their decisions and build character into their life.
The same goes for writing. I'm following a ton of blogs and how tos. I'm like a kid who is starving for wisdom and seeking a mentor to show me a good path. I do not have that one person who has been through the woods, gotten lost, and now knows the way. I am seeking and I know the value of having one.
Everyone needs a mentor. Whether you are scribbling out your first few sentences or on to your second book, we all need a mentor. Who is breathing wisdom into your life? Find someone who has been where you want to be and latch on. Openly confess, "I want to watch and learn." They will probably laugh in your face but a true mentor will do so in love and provide a closet full of wisdom on life or writing.
Thursday
Tuesday
Wisdom vs Good Advice
When my friends said everyone was doing it, my mom told me to grow up first
When my girlfriend said I should try it, a teacher suggested I should think first
When my coworker said to do it, my mentor reminded me why not
What do all these have in common? Everyone wants good advice. We seek it daily. Which college do I attend? Should I marry this guy? Do I quit my job? Who should I vote for? What could be better than good advice? Good wisdom!
I see good advice. I recognize it. It puts another step in front of me. But is good advice always good, long term? Has it been tested and proven in the fire? That's the critical test. My writing groups are filled will seekers. We want feedback on taking this path or that one. I've argued with many who simply have a different perspective. I can't change that. I can only seek to understand their point of view. But often, I'm baffled at how quickly a question is proposed and the responses are all over the map. When multiple paths are presented, which do you take?
Seek wisdom over good advice. Often times good wisdom is being sold in the "how to books." I get that these guys want to make a buck. But true mentors build into people. There is an old quote I love. Leaders don't build followers, they build other leaders. True mentors who love writing, want to build other writers who succeed. Here is what to look for if you are seeking wisdom over good advice.
1) Listen to the people who have failed before they have succeeded. They have far more valuable stories to share.
2) Be careful of the writers to have one book to their name and a second book titled, "The Best Way to Write a Book."
3) Our elders have the wisdom of experience - if you don't agree with everything, you can still listen for a few nuggets of truth.
4) Follow the head, not the heart. Think smart, not with feelings.
5) There are groups with experienced writers. Latch on to those the common voices before you listen to the rest of us who have opinions on everything.
When my girlfriend said I should try it, a teacher suggested I should think first
When my coworker said to do it, my mentor reminded me why not
What do all these have in common? Everyone wants good advice. We seek it daily. Which college do I attend? Should I marry this guy? Do I quit my job? Who should I vote for? What could be better than good advice? Good wisdom!
I see good advice. I recognize it. It puts another step in front of me. But is good advice always good, long term? Has it been tested and proven in the fire? That's the critical test. My writing groups are filled will seekers. We want feedback on taking this path or that one. I've argued with many who simply have a different perspective. I can't change that. I can only seek to understand their point of view. But often, I'm baffled at how quickly a question is proposed and the responses are all over the map. When multiple paths are presented, which do you take?
Seek wisdom over good advice. Often times good wisdom is being sold in the "how to books." I get that these guys want to make a buck. But true mentors build into people. There is an old quote I love. Leaders don't build followers, they build other leaders. True mentors who love writing, want to build other writers who succeed. Here is what to look for if you are seeking wisdom over good advice.
1) Listen to the people who have failed before they have succeeded. They have far more valuable stories to share.
2) Be careful of the writers to have one book to their name and a second book titled, "The Best Way to Write a Book."
3) Our elders have the wisdom of experience - if you don't agree with everything, you can still listen for a few nuggets of truth.
4) Follow the head, not the heart. Think smart, not with feelings.
5) There are groups with experienced writers. Latch on to those the common voices before you listen to the rest of us who have opinions on everything.
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